Clue 2: The intense stare.
Have you ever been on the receiving end of a look so intense it almost feels like someone’s eyes are burning through you? This is our second facial clue to spotting a narcissist: the intense stare. This isn’t just a focused gaze; it’s a display of control and dominance—an unblinking, almost predatory glare that asserts power without a word. It’s a tool used by narcissists to intimidate and manipulate, creating an imbalance of power that makes you feel small, insignificant, or even afraid.
It’s effective because it disrupts your confidence, making you more susceptible to manipulation. Using this intense, unblinking gaze, the narcissist can control the interaction and silently communicate superiority and disdain. By making you uncomfortable, they control the flow of conversation, or interaction. It forces you to react, often putting you on the defensive or making you feel like you need to appease the narcissist to avoid further discomfort. It’s a silent but overt warning of, “You’re under my control, and I will punish you if you step out of line.”
When you feel someone might be trying to dominate or control you through intense staring, use the stare back test to check their true intentions. Instead of looking away, hold their gaze for a few moments and watch their reaction. If they keep staring without softening or breaking eye contact, it could be a sign that they’re attempting to assert dominance or control. This prolonged gaze is a red flag—a power move meant to make you feel uncomfortable, submissive, or intimidated. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re a narcissist, but it does mean that there might be underlying aggression.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
It’s also important to note that staring isn’t always manipulative. For example, neuroatypical people might stare due to difficulty interpreting social cues or a deep focus on a topic. The key is to consider the broader context, observe behavior patterns over time, and assess whether there are underlying motivations of domination and control.
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