Number 4: S£xµal Sadism and Power Dynamics.
They are s£xµal sadists, and they feed off your pain. For a lot of narcissists, s£x becomes a way to dominate you on the deepest level—when you are most open, most vulnerable, most emotionally raw. You may have noticed how they suddenly want to have s£x right after a brutal fight, right after screaming at you, blaming you, breaking you down when you’re still crying. When your body is trembling, your breath is shallow, your spirit collapses—that is evil. That’s the evil I’m talking about.
For a sadistic narcissist, the tears on your face are arousing. Your pain, your defeat, your humiliation—it gives them a high. There is something about seeing you stripped of your power that gives them theirs. It is dark, it’s twisted, and most of all, it is intentional. They do not just want to sleep with you in that moment; they want to conquer you, own you, use your body to absorb the energy they just sucked out of you emotionally. That is why the intimacy after fights feels so strange, so intense, yet so violating, because you did not really want it. You were coerced, you were pushed, guilt-tripped. You were too tired to say no, too scared to resist, too broken to fight back.
Read More: 11 Things to Never Do With a Narcissist.
And if you did resist, what did they do? They turned cold or straight away punished you, disappeared for days or threatened to cheat, or accused you of being manipulative or withholding. The narcissist rewrites the story so that even your body becomes something they must control. Your boundaries? They’re inconvenient. Your consent? Oh, that’s negotiable. Your pleasure? Irrelevant. What matters to them is the power dynamic—who is on top, who is begging, who is surrendering. And when they see you surrender not because of passion but because you have given up, that is when they feel most alive.
But please, do not mistake this for a s£xµal fetish or kink. This isn’t about conceptual play; this is about violating you when you are weakest. This is about making love to your wounds, not your soul. And deep down, they know it. That’s why they will never talk about it. That’s why they will act like you wanted them to. Because if they told the truth, they would have to admit they get off on breaking you.
Suggested Book: Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
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