Number 3: They genuinely believe you betrayed them by changing.
When they love bomb you, they idealize your perfect self. They think you are the solution. But when the devaluation begins, they hurt you, abuse you, abandon you because what you are does not match with what they thought you are. So that shift is what makes them think you have betrayed them, that you have wronged them, that you have fooled them, that you have lied to them when in truth, you have been just yourself. And it’s their perceptive flaw that they didn’t see you as a human being. They saw you as a solution, as a trophy of some kind that would keep making them feel that high forever.
For More: 5 Sadistic Things Narcissists Find Funny.
The irony is that it should be you feeling betrayed. But no, they steal that from you as well. They turn themselves into a big victim and say that you betrayed them by not being who you were in the beginning or who they made you out to be when the truth is it’s them who changed. It’s them who shape-shifted into an entirely different person once they got full control over you. That is an extreme form of projection and the worst case of delusion. This kind of delusional thinking of your narcissistic partner is what leads to abusive, non-abusive treatment, the cycles of hot and cold behavior. And that is what gets you trauma-bonded to them.
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