Number 4: They believe they never mistreated you.
If they did, it was because of you. Because you said something, you did something in a way that triggered them, which is what made them act a certain way and it’s justified. Or they treated you in an abusive way because you let them treat you that way. So it’s your fault. You are a naive person. You are a fool for not detecting their narcissism, for trusting in them. That is how these sociopathic, malignant narcissists justify their abusive treatment towards you. They think, “Oh, she’s such a foolish person. He’s such a giving person,” which makes him a perfect target. He should not be giving. It’s his fault. So it’s not my problem. I will keep taking advantage of them. I will keep using them until I can because it’s their fault. They should have not trusted me in the first place. They should have been able to see through my manipulation because they didn’t have a problem with it. And they’re letting me do it to them. I will continuously keep doing it.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
They also use compartmentalization a lot. They minimize their abusive behavior by comparing it with what they could have done to you, the worst-case scenario, and then expect you to be grateful about not receiving that kind of treatment from them. They also justify it on the basis of what you have done to them and what they have experienced in the past and so on. Basically, they have zero empathy towards you and they can’t take responsibility. They can’t look within. They gaslight you and believe that they didn’t say that, they didn’t do that. That’s how they function.
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