Number 4: The gut feeling you get when something is just off.
You know that feeling when you meet someone and you can’t quite put your finger on it, but something just isn’t quite right?
You might be tempted to write it off or feel sorry for them, but always trust your gut. At the very least, when you’re getting that feeling, proceed with caution. So, maybe their charm feels a little too slick, like they’re laying it on thick for a reason. Or you might notice that their reactions to things are just off, especially in situations that call for emotional empathy.
You see, covert narcissists struggle with genuine empathy, so they’re usually faking it. And sometimes, it shows. Their responses might seem over-the-top dramatic or oddly underwhelming. Or maybe it just feels forced and awkward, like they’re reading from a “how to show empathy” handbook.
Whatever it is that seems off, don’t brush it aside. That little voice in your head saying, “Huh, that was strange,” it’s worth listening to. Our instincts are really great at picking up on things that our conscious minds miss. So, if you’re getting those “something’s not right here” vibes, take note. It doesn’t automatically mean that you’re dealing with a covert narcissist, but it’s definitely a sign to pay closer attention.
Intuition and trusting your gut are key. You need to listen to your inner self and not overthink. Even if that person is not cluster B, you need to walk if the chemistry is not there. Exiting a bad relationship is the hard part. Don’t waste time on toxic people.
Recommended Book: How To Kill A Narcissist: Debunking The Myth Of Narcissism And Recovering From Narcissistic Abuse.
Number 5: Gossip.
Sadly, most people do gossip sometimes, but with covert narcissists, it’s a whole different ball game. Pay close attention to how they talk about people who are not in the room. It can be pretty revealing.
You might notice that they’re quick to tear down others, often with a smile. And you may notice that their criticism is harsh and seems to come from a place of superiority, like they’re better than the other person. And you also might see them sharing private information about someone else without a second thought.
With a covert narcissist, there’s a pattern of making themselves look good at another person’s expense. And it might start subtle. Maybe they drop little comments like, “Oh, poor Sarah, she tries so hard, but you know…” or they might share juicy secrets that aren’t theirs to tell.
And here’s the kicker: if they’re trash-talking others to you, chances are they’re doing the same about you when you’re not around. It’s not just harmless chatter; it’s a way for them to feel superior and control narratives. And watch out how they frame these conversations, too. They might act like they’re confiding in you, creating a false sense of intimacy, but really, they’re just stirring the pot.
So, if you’re constantly hearing negativity about others from them, take it as a major red flag. It’s just a matter of time before you become the topic of their next gossip session.
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