#1: “You are absolutely amazing.”
Now, the first phrase that I want you to become aware of is simply this, and it sounds positive at the onset, but not really. Phrase number one that they can use that just screams narcissism is, “You are absolutely amazing.” Now sure, in healthy relationships, we do like to pay compliments, so I’m not saying that anytime somebody compliments you, that’s a bad thing. But when narcissists come along with this real sugary and strong notion that says, “Oh, you’re so good, you are so wonderful,” you can just guarantee that they’re setting you up.
When a narcissist, and by the way, this tends to be in the earlier stages of a relationship with them, comes at you with that phrase, “You’re absolutely amazing,” what they’re really saying is, “I want the gifts and the influence that’s going to come from you towards me.” They kind of have this notion that says, “Give me, give me, give me, I’m always on the take.” So, if they can butter you up so that you’ll be on their team, then that’s how they can get an inroad.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
#2: “You’ve never had a more loyal supporter than me.”
A second very common phrase right alongside this one is they may actually say to you something like, “You’ve never had a more loyal supporter than me.” Now, many times a phrase like this is going to show up whenever there’s some sort of question as to whether they’re on the same page as you, and they’ll say, “Oh, you’re never going to have a more loyal supporter than me.” When they say something like this, again, that on the surface can sound like a real positive thing, but to the narcissist, that translates as, “You can’t question my motives. You can’t question me when we differ.” Whenever I come toward you, my motives are totally pure, and if you question the purity of my motives, there’s something wrong with you. When in fact, you and I know that’s not the case at all; it’s a setup. It’s part of their gaslighting.
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