As much focus as narcissists get for causing trouble, most people don’t ever point out just how stunted their experience in life can be. Narcissists can be a lot of things: bullies, bad bosses or coworkers, and even toxic partners. And you will commonly find these people in positions of power where they can really make your life harder than it ever should be.
Today, however, we are going to shift away from what narcissists do to us and instead talk about what they do to themselves. From being unable to accept when they’re wrong to having almost no basic understanding of what makes the average person tick, there are definitely going to be some eye-opening entries today. By the end of today’s article, you will better understand what goes on in a narcissist’s head, which can make it a whole lot easier to defend against their bizarre attacks or comments.
Number 10: The rules don’t ever apply to them.
Humans are social creatures, which is why we are constantly interacting with one another. Because of this, written and unwritten rules have come into play over the years on how people should treat one another. And these rules may change depending on where in the world you are. As much as people want to be individuals, most of us can understand and appreciate these rules, especially in a place of business or workplace environment. This is something that narcissists really struggle to understand, though, and it is one reason why they are usually pretty easy to spot.
Narcissists are much more self-centered than the typical person, and they believe that the world should be shaped to their own rules, not the other way around. So the next time you feel frustrated at how often a narcissist interrupts you or ignores doing something that would make your life easier, just remember that this law is consistent across their entire worldview and not specific at all to you.
Related: 5 Insane Things Only a Narcissist Does.
Number 9: They force others to compliment them.
Narcissists are superficial people at their core, which is why they care so much about what other people think. Even if they would never admit it, a narcissist doesn’t tend to have a very strong sense of self, and they instead usually try to mold themselves into whatever may impress those around them. This makes them incredibly annoying to deal with in an environment you share on an almost daily basis, like a class or office, since they will always be focusing on how they can impress you or the people around you.
Something that people don’t often realize is how paper-thin the narcissist’s opinion of themselves really is deep down, which is why they will keep coming back for confirmation that you really do think they are cool, smart, or funny. This will usually come from them asking you what you think of their outfit or telling long stories about the awards or recognition they have gotten in the past. It seems kind of silly that a person that makes everything about themselves would end up needing the help of others so much. But nobody ever said a narcissist was logical.
For More: How Do Narcissists Choose Their Prey.
Number 8: Nothing is ever as good as their first impression.
Do you ever worry about making a good first impression? If so, you’re not alone. As it’s natural for us to want to put our best foot forward when meeting a new person. Fortunately for us, the first impression is not usually a huge deal as people tend to value getting to know a person on a deeper level more than just going with their first snapshot of what you may be like. Interestingly enough, narcissists are the total opposite of that, being people that don’t really have any desire to open up more than on their initial interaction.
This can be boring to friends of the narcissist who quickly realize that this person isn’t as interesting as they made themselves out to be and that they refuse to reveal anything more about their lives. People who enjoy gossiping or talking about surface-level things can sometimes find enjoyment out of these narcissistic interactions, but the average person will quickly grow tired and move on.
Number 7: They assume that people love them.
The brain can be hard to understand sometimes, but there are some general rules of thumb that can make it easier to conceptualize. One pretty universal fact is that our brain has an easier time holding on to negative thoughts than positive ones, which can be troublesome sometimes. While it can be hard for the average human being to shake off doubt, a narcissist never really experiences that for more than a moment. That’s because it is very important to the world view of the narcissist that people like them, and so they just accept it as a fact of reality.
Even if the truth is much more of a gray area, when most of us notice that a person is sending mixed signals, it can lead to a dialog or a change in behavior to improve things. But for a narcissist, this is far too complex and they would sooner attack the person they think is giving them the cold shoulder than consider that they may be the problem.
Read More: 7 Ways Narcissists Test You.
Number 6: They have no problem putting themselves before others.
Sometimes we all have to make difficult decisions, and that means weighing all of the odds. Whenever you decide something, you have to consider all the possibilities as well as how your choice may affect the people around you. While this may seem difficult in the moment, taking this step will help you to better understand the situation as well as making sure you don’t lose friends or loved ones in the process. Unfortunately for the narcissist, they are simply not equipped to have this kind of foresight and as a result tend to burn bridges quickly and often in life.
When this happens, they lack the self-awareness to understand that they were at least partially at fault and can unintentionally get themselves trapped in a loop of hurt and resentment. Putting yourself first can be beneficial at times, especially in your career, but the narcissist fails to understand that it can also do a lot more harm than good at times.
A Book:Â Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 5: They discredit others because they can’t accept that others can be better.
It’s important to have relationships that are supportive and full of trust and communication. One of the most important things you can do for another person is to celebrate their victories, which seems like such a small thing to do, but is often where a narcissistic relationship falls apart. These people can best be described as conceited, which means that they put themselves up on a pedestal that no one else can ever reach. So what do they do when you or a mutual friend excel in something? Well, usually these toxic people will try to find ways to poke holes in your accomplishments before eventually making it about themselves.
Related: 5 Explanations On How The Mind of A Narcissist Works.
Number 4: They can’t let things go.
Forgive and forget is a popular mantra that people live by. It’s a way to remind yourself to let things go and to move on, which is important and valuable advice for sure. When you spend your time and effort complaining about something that is already done, you sacrifice the present moment in a way, and it can make it harder to catch up and shake off those negative feelings. Narcissists usually live in this moment, sadly, and it is a major reason why they can become so vengeful in their lives rather than being able to accept a person made a mistake or messed up. A narcissist will seek revenge no matter how much it may end up hurting them in the long run.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
Number 3: Their fear of opening up prevents them from finding meaningful friendships.
Probably the biggest problem a narcissist has in their social life revolves around the feeling of vulnerability. You could ask even the most open person in the world, and they would still tell you that becoming vulnerable is one of the more difficult human experiences out there. And it’s easy to see why when you open yourself up, there’s a chance that you’ll get hurt. So many people choose just to protect themselves rather than risk anything. Narcissists fall into this camp, which is why you will rarely hear one talk about deep and influential friends they have since they don’t possess the ability to reach those kinds of people and form meaningful bonds.
For More: 8 Lies ALL Narcissists Tell.
Number 2: They never do anything for the greater good.
A good way to build some social credit in life is to do something for the greater good. This usually means helping someone for something that won’t do anything for your personal life. Doing this will help your reputation around the office and may even spark up a new friendship with the person you’re helping. But it also shows that you don’t care about the attention or fame. Looking like a reliable, helpful individual will definitely help you in life. But it is simply too anonymous for the narcissist to ever consider trying.
Recommended:Â Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Number 1: They chase thrills for their whole life.
A narcissist’s life will never be boring, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good life to have. Narcissists are typically thrill-seekers who enjoy drama and tension. This creates conflict in their personal life, as in both relationships and friendships. Stability is much more important than petty drama or anything like that. Because of this, narcissists usually leave the best people in their lives, those that provide balance and care, and choose partners that make their life complicated and messy.
Read More: 7 Things A Narcissist Doesn’t Want You To Know.
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