Number 2: ‘You will never find someone else like me.’
I am sure you might have heard this as well, because this is one of the most common ones. This statement, under the guise of a self-praising jest, is a fear tactic. The narcissist attempts to instill in you a fear of abandonment, a fear of being alone, by making you believe they are one of a kind, irreplaceable. They aim to make you more compliant and more willing to tolerate their abuse. They are preying on your insecurities to maintain control.
My mother was a master of this tactic as well. With a sly, knowing smile, she would say something like, ‘You won’t understand now. No, you will only understand when I die. You will cry your soul out on my grave, but you won’t find me or get me back.’ Her words were like a knife to my heart, igniting my separation anxiety. The thought of losing her was unbearable, even though she was the source of my torment. The fear she instilled in me made me forget all the hurtful things she had done, all the pain she had inflicted. I would rush to her, hug her, and forget everything but the fear of losing her.
Related: 10 Weird Habits Of A Covert Narcissist.
Number 3: ‘You want a cheerleader, not the truth’.
This phrase is an example of projection and manipulation. Narcissists use It to portray you as someone who is unwilling to accept the harsh reality they are supposedly offering, suggesting that you would prefer mindless praise and encouragement instead. In a sense, they are accusing you of wanting to live in a bubble of positivity, devoid of any critique or reality. However, this tactic is often employed when what you are seeking is radical honesty, not mindless cheerleading. The truth you are after is not harsh criticism or belittlement, but an open, honest dialogue. You may want them to acknowledge their actions, admit their faults, or discuss problems without resorting to blame or denial.
Recommended: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
When the narcissist says, ‘You are a cheerleader, not the truth,’ they are attempting to dismiss your valid need for open communication and accountability. They twist your desire for a healthy, truthful exchange into a perceived need for constant approval, effectively diverting the conversation away from their actions and behaviors. This phrase is a powerful evasion tactic, enabling them to sidestep any responsibility for their actions while simultaneously undermining your feelings and concerns.
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