Number 4: ‘Learn to love, not hate, and to forgive, not blame.’
This phrase, seemingly wholesome, becomes a weapon in the hands of a narcissist. On the surface, it sounds like a call for compassion and understanding. However, in the context of a narcissist’s use, it demands for unconditional love and forgiveness without them taking responsibility for their actions, basically unconditional acceptance. They are suggesting that any anger or blame you are holding on to is misplaced, that you are the one in the wrong for holding them accountable. It is another tactic to shift responsibility away from them and onto you. It is their way of saying, ‘I am not the problem; your inability to forgive and forget is the problem.’
Related: 9 Demeaning Things Narcissists Say.
Number 5: ‘Why don’t you do something to amuse me?’
This phrase is a stark demonstration of a narcissist’s self-centered mindset and objectification. When a narcissist says, ‘Why don’t you do something to amuse me?’ they are effectively reducing your role to that of an entertainer, an object whose sole purpose is to cater to their amusement. The narcissist’s sense of entitlement is evident here. They believe they should be the center of attention, the focus of all activities. They are dismissing your needs, desires, and feelings, reinforcing the idea that you exist only to serve them. Your value in their eyes is tied to your ability to keep them entertained, to keep them satisfied, which is why they always want you to do something for them.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Through this phrase, the narcissist is objectifying you. You’re not seen as a person with thoughts, feelings, and desires, but as an object existing for their pleasure. This form of dehumanization breaks you at the soul level and makes you feel used and abused.
To sum it up, narcissistic language is a powerful tool of manipulation and control. Through seemingly unharmful phrases, narcissists guilt-trip, instill fear, project their insecurities, dodge accountability, and objectify their victims.
Read More: 7 Tricky Narcissist Mind Games That Work (Unless You Know).
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