Have you ever wondered about what would happen if you discarded a narcissist first? Would they be happy that they got out of the relationship without having to do it themselves? Or would they be bitter that you did it to them? The true reaction that they have, which we will get to in just a second, may actually shock you, as this is maybe the most emotional that a narcissist will ever become after discarding a narcissist.
You may start to realize just how abusive and toxic the situation was. But before you can fully move on, you’re going to want to shut the door on that person once and for all. The cycle of abuse from the narcissist can be brutal and complicated. If you’ve ever dreamed about pushing a narcissist out of your life for good, this is the article for you, so make sure to stick around until the end for our best advice.
Number 10: Get ready for the rage.
Narcissists tend to lash out when things don’t go their way. And so when you go ahead and discard them, they may respond in a way you aren’t even familiar with. If you have had a strong relationship with the narcissist so far, you may not know what it feels like when they are done showering you with affection or when they don’t feel like they have to perform for you. And this is when they are at their most dangerous. In this sort of situation, the narcissist is done with the games and is either trying to break you down even more or trying to manipulate you into going back to them. Either way, you want to be at your most composed at this initial stage since things can turn ugly in a hurry.
Number 9: They will start to deflect.
After that initial emotional reaction, the narcissist will most likely begin to withdraw and become much colder than before. This probably isn’t the worst idea for you to try as well as otherwise. You may catch some serious strays from this toxic personality. You may start to get blamed for things that you brought up or manipulated into believing that you overreacted. None of this is true, but it can be hard to not get tricked into believing it at the moment. When a narcissist starts to accuse you of things or is trying to shake themselves loose of responsibility, it is best for you to stick to the facts when you talk about your opinions or beliefs. It is easy to argue, but when you are just stating facts, it can be really hard for a narcissist to fight against.
Number 8: They threaten to hurt themselves.
Discarding a narcissist can be difficult because these people tend to latch on fairly quickly to their partners and friends. When you bring up boundaries or threaten to leave, often a narcissist will try to use your own empathy against you, which can be both jarring and more than a little scary. If you are feeling overwhelmed during this part, you should try to focus on the things that you can control and try not to become personally connected to their sob stories. As harsh as it may sound. This tactic is nothing more than a way for them to regain control, and you shouldn’t get too drawn into this act.
Number 7: They will claim they’ve changed.
Words don’t mean anything to some people, and the narcissist definitely falls into that category. These people can be tricky with their words. And don’t really think that there is anything wrong with saying anything to get your way since words won’t hold them accountable. Your best bet is to either reject them entirely or even to require them to prove that these aren’t just false promises. Almost always, the narcissist will begin squirming away from this form of accountability, showing their true face once again.
Read More: 10 Ways to Show A Narcissist That You Don’t Care.
Number 6: They may not respect the discard.
One of the most unexpected reactions to discard is refusing to honor it, despite the ridiculousness of it. Narcissists will often try this tactic if they feel like you are weak enough to fall for it. They will attempt to claw their way back into your life. All the while claiming that you just weren’t feeling like yourself when you tried to end things the first time. This form of manipulation is dangerous too, since if it worked it would really shift the balance of power between you two.
If you feel like you are struggling to continue saying no to this individual, it is important that you take some time for yourself. In order to gather your thoughts and recenter yourself. People underestimate just how much strain gaslighting and outright arguing can have on a person, so don’t feel like you have to do it all in one go.
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
Number 5: They may play the victim.
After going through all that you have, standing up for yourself, and speaking out against abuse, you may feel as though you should be rewarded for your efforts. Most people may even agree with you, and you should definitely be proud. But the narcissist is not going to cut you any breaks. It can be frustrating to hear them play the victim after all the things you have put up with.
But if the narcissist doesn’t think they can argue against you, they may very well try to get you to sympathize with them. It is worth noting that you do not have to humor this behavior at all, and that this is simply what happens when you discard a narcissist. Sometimes, once they figure out that you are not tricked by their fake crying or blaming, they will probably adjust course soon after anyway.
Read More: 10 Weird Texting Habits of Narcissists..
Number 4: Weaponized incompetence.
Narcissists are really versatile and will often pick up tricks that they have seen work for others in a relationship. The term weaponized incompetence refers to when a person will pretend to not understand something so that their partner will take care of it for them. Recently, narcissists have begun to pick up on this behavior, and it is possible that they may try it on you if they feel like you are discarding them. This may result in them pretending like everything in your relationship is great, or them asking you to break down very simple concepts in order to slow you down and interrupt number three, they will go to others.
Recommended Book: Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself- By Shahida Arabi.
Narcissists don’t ever fight fair, and they can be real quick to bring in support. When things start to look dicey, if you are going through a breakup with a particularly toxic person, you should probably let your friends and maybe even your family know. Since nothing is off limits to a narcissist, the last thing that you want is to discuss the details of your relationship with your parents, just because a narcissist started lashing out. So in order to protect both you and your support system, you should probably give everyone notice that something is up.
For More: 10 Desperate Things Narcissists Do When You Are Not Around.
Number 2: The home stretch.
Near the end of the discard, you may start to feel like things are finally looking up. The toxic individual in your life is leaving you alone and you are finally able to focus on yourself again. This is usually when the narcissist gets desperate as they start to realize that they are losing you for good. As manipulative as the narcissist can be, it is truly hurtful for them to lose you, but not for the reasons you might expect for these people. Losing you is admitting to themselves that they weren’t good enough for you. And that feeling can be deeply traumatizing for them. They may try reaching out a few more times in an attempt to get you back, but by now that door is most likely closed shut by you.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
Number 1: Moving on.
Now that you have successfully navigated the first couple of weeks of the narcissist, the rest is going to be pretty straightforward. Since you have had to deal with a toxic person for so long, you may find the need to seek out emotional or mental health services to shake off the rest of it. And that’s 100% okay. Dealing with a narcissist can be a tremendously emotional and difficult time, but you were fortunate enough to deal with it head on and to get past it.
If the narcissist ever presents themselves again, you will know better than to fall for their attempts at love bombing and other gestures that you used to identify as love. The best part of moving on though, is knowing that the future is going to be much better than the past, and that you will be able to sniff out any narcissist long before they have a chance to sink their teeth into you.
Read More: Ways Narcissists React to Being Ignored or Rejected.
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